Da King Guys
Book Numba One
David Come Real Ol
11King David, he come real ol. He stay cold all da time, no can come warm, no matta get plenny blanket on top him. 2So da palace guys tell um, “Eh King, you oua boss! Us guys tink, if us guys go look fo one young wahine dat neva sleep wit one guy, she can stay wit you an help you. So wen you come cold, she can lay down wit you so you come warm.” 3Da King tink dass good too. So dey wen go look all ova da Israel land fo one good looking wahine. Dey find Abishag from Shunam, an bring her to da King. 4Da girl was one real good looking wahine. She stay wit da king an help him. But da king neva have sex wit her.
Adonijah Like Make Himself Da King
5Dat time, King David boy Adonijah (Haggit his mudda) wen go aroun ack big fo come King. He talk: “I goin come King!” So he go get war wagons an army guys dat ride horse. He go get fifty guys fo run in front him wen he come inside da street, so erybody know Adonijah stay coming. 6From small kid time, weneva Adonijah do bad kine stuff, King David no bodda. King David neva aks “How come you stay do dat?!” cuz David neva like make his boy feel bad. Adonijah one real good looking guy too. He da nex boy dat was born afta Absalom. 7Adonijah wen go talk wit General Joab (Zeruiah boy) an Abiatar da pries guy, an dey say dey goin help him fo come King. 8But Zadok da pries guy, an Colonel Benaiah (Jehoiada boy), an Nathan da guy dat stay talk fo God, an Shimei, an Rei, an da military leada guys dat was King David army guys, dey neva help Adonijah.
9Adonijah go make plenny sacrifice, wit sheeps, an boy kine cows, an da kine cows peopo wen feed plenny fo come fat. He do dat right outside Jerusalem, by da big stone dey call Zohelet nea da En-rogel puka fo watta. He tell all his brudda guys, King David boys, fo come, an all da guys from da Judah ohana dat stay work fo da King. 10But he neva tell Nathan da talka fo God, o Colonel Benaiah, o da odda army guys, fo come. An he neva tell his brudda Solomon fo come.
Da Oddas Aks King David Who Goin Come Da King
11Den Nathan go tell Bathsheba, Solomon mudda, “You neva hear dis, o wat?! Adonijah, da one dat Haggit wen born fo David, he come King awready. An oua boss David, he donno yet wass happening! 12So now, lissen! I goin tell you wat you gotta do. Cuz if you no do notting, you an yoa boy Solomon goin mahke. 13Hurry up an go inside! Talk to King David now! Tell him: ‘You da King, an you da boss fo me, an I jalike yoa slave wahine. But you wen make one strong promise to me befo time, you know. You wen tell me, “Yoa boy Solomon goin come da nex king afta me. He goin sit on top my throne.” Dass wat you wen tell me. So, how come Adonijah stay da king now?!’ 14Befo you pau talk to da King, I goin come inside too, an I goin tell da same ting jalike you.”
15Bathsheba go by da King, inside da room wea he sleep. Da King, he real ol, an Abishag da Shunam girl stay dea take care him. 16Bathsheba go down on top da groun fo show respeck fo da King. Da King tell, “Wat you like?”
17Bathsheba tell da King, “Eh, you da boss fo me! You wen make one strong promise to me, an you wen aks yoa God Yahweh fo make shua you do wat you wen promise. Dis wat you wen tell me dat time: ‘Yoa boy Solomon, he da one dat goin come da King afta I mahke. Goin be him dat stay sit on top my throne.’ 18But you know wat?! I wen jus hear, Adonijah come King awready, an no matta you da real King, you donno dat! 19He wen kill plenny boy kine cows, an cows peopo wen feed plenny fo come fat, an sheeps, fo make sacrifice. He wen tell all da King's boys, an Abiatar da pries guy, an Joab da general fo da army, fo come by him. Ony yoa boy Solomon, Adonijah neva tell fo come. 20But you my boss, da King. Az why you da one dat all da Israel peopo stay watch. You gotta tell erybody, who da one goin sit on top yoa throne afta you mahke. 21If you no tell da peopo notting, den afta you mahke an go by yoa ancesta guys, erybody goin go afta me an my boy Solomon, an make jalike us bad guys.”
22Right den an dea, wen Batsheba stay talking wit da King, Nathan da guy dat talk fo God come inside dea. 23Da palace guys tell da King, “Look! Nathan, da guy dat talk fo God, stay hea.” Nathan come in front da King, an go down wit his face on top da groun fo show um respeck. 24Nathan tell da king, “Eh, my boss da King! Az true, o wat, dat you wen tell, ‘Adonijah goin be da king afta me, an he goin sit on top my throne’?! 25Cuz today, Adonijah wen make sacrifice wit plenny boy kine cows, an cows dat peopo make um fat, an sheeps too. He wen tell all da King's boys, an General Joab dat stay in charge a da army, an Abiatar da pries guy, fo come by him. An you know wat? Right now, dey stay dea in front him, an dey eating and drinking plenny. Dey tell, ‘We like King Adonijah live long time!’ 26But Adonijah neva tell me fo go by him, cuz I work fo you. He neva tell Zadok da pries guy, an Colonel Benaiah Jehoiadah boy fo come. An he neva tell Solomon, da guy dat work fo you, fo come by him too. 27You da boss fo me, an you da King. Az true, o wat, dat you wen do all dis? How come you neva let us guys dat stay work fo you know, who goin be da one fo sit on top yoa throne an be da King after you mahke?”
David Make Solomon Da King
28King David tell Nathan, “Tell Bathsheba fo come inside hea.” Den Nathan tell Bathsheba fo come, an she come stand dea in front da King. 29King David make one strong promise to her. He tell, “Da promise I wen make to you, you can trus fo shua. Jalike I stay shua dat Yahweh stay alive, an erytime I get big trouble, he da one fix up eryting fo me. An jalike I stay shua bout dat, 30I make dis strong promise fo you one mo time, jalike I wen make um to you befo time in front Yahweh, da God fo da Israel peopo. I wen tell you dat time: ‘Yoa boy Solomon, he goin come da nex King afta me. He goin be da one dat sit on top my throne, an not me.’ Dass da promise I wen make dat time, an now today, I goin do wat I wen promise.”
31Bathsheba go down wit her face on top da groun fo show respeck fo da King. Den she tell, “King David, you my boss! I like you live foeva!”
32King David tell his guys, “Go tell Zadok da pries guy, an Nathan da guy dat talk fo God, an Colonel Benaiah Jehoiada boy, fo come hea.” Wen dey come in front da King, 33da king tell um, “I da boss fo you guys, an I like you guys do dis: Go get all da odda guys dat work fo me. Den put my boy Solomon on top my spesho mule, an make parade fo take him down dea outside Jerusalem, by da Gihon watta place. 34Wen he come dea, I like fo Zadok da pries guy an Nathan da talka fo God, put olive oil on top his head fo show he goin be da King fo da Israel peopo. Den, tell my guys fo blow da trumpets, an tell erybody fo say dis, ‘We like King Solomon live long time!’ 35Den tell Solomon fo go up to da palace, an all you guys go wit him. Den he goin go inside da palace an sit down on top my throne. He goin come da King afta me, cuz I wen tell erybody, he da one goin stay in charge a da Israel peopo an da Judah ohana!”
36Benaiah Jehoiada boy tell da King, “Right on! I like fo Yahweh, make all dat happen. He da God dat my boss da King stay pray to! 37Jalike Yahweh wen stay tight wit you, I like Yahweh stay tight with Solomon, an make dis country even mo awesome den stay now, wen you stay da King.”
38So Zadok da pries guy, an Nathan da talka fo God, and Colonel Benaiah Jehoiada boy, an da guard guys from da Keret an Pelet peopos, dey all wen go outa da palace. Dey go fo put Solomon on top da mule dat stay spesho fo King David, an dey take Solomon down to da Gihon watta place.
39Wen dey get dea, Zadok da pries guy take one horn olive oil inside, dat he wen get from da Tent Fo Rememba Da Deal Wit God, an he put da oil on top Solomon head. Den da peopo start fo blow trumpets, an erybody yell, “We like King Solomon live long time!” 40Den Solomon go up to da palace, an all da peopo go wit him, playing flute an telling erybody dey stay plenny good inside. Dey make big noise, da groun shake!
Adonijah Give Up
41Adonijah an all da peopo dat stay making party wit him, almos pau eat, an dey hea da noise. General Joab, he hear da trumpet noise, an he tell, “Eh! How come erybody inside dis town stay make big noise an yelling?!”
42Befo Joab pau say dat, Jonathan come dea. (His fadda, Abiatar da pries.) Adonijah tell um, “Come inside! You one importan guy, an fo shua you get good stuff fo tell.”
43Jonathan tell Adonijah, “No, not good stuff! Oua boss King David wen make Solomon da King, not you. 44Da King wen send Zadok da pries guy, an Nathan da talka fo God, an Colonel Benaiah Jehoiada boy, an da guard guys from da Keret an Pelet peopos. Dey wen put Solomon on top da mule dat stay spesho fo da King. 45Zadok da pries guy, an Nathan da talka guy fo God, dey wen go da Gihon watta place. Ova dea dey put da spesho olive oil on top Solomon head fo show he da one dat come King. Den dey wen go from dea up to da palace, an dey all stay good inside. Erybody in dis town stay amping out! Dass da noise you hear. 46So now, Solomon stay sit on top da throne, an he da King.
47“An you know wat?! Da guys dat stay work fo oua boss King David, dey all go by King David an tell um, ‘We like fo God make Solomon get even mo big name den you! We like God make dis country even mo awesome den stay now, wen you stay da King!’
King David, he stay sitting down on top da bed, an he bend ova fo show God love an respeck. 48Den he pray to God lidis: ‘I like tell good tings bout you, cuz you Yahweh, da God fo da Israel peopo. Today, you wen let one a my boys take ova da throne from me, an you wen let me see all dat happen!’-”
49Den, all da peopo dat was making party wit Adonijah stay shaking cuz dey scared. Den dey all stand up an go home. 50Adonijah, he scared a Solomon too. He go by da big altar an grab da tings jalike horns dat stick out, so nobody can kill him. 51Somebody tell Solomon, “Adonijah, he scared a you, King Solomon. An you know wat? Adonijah stay put his hands on top da horns dat stay stick outa da big altar, an he tell, ‘I like fo King Solomon make one strong promise to me, dat he no goin tell nobody fo kill me wit one sword. I goin be his worka guy!’-”
52Solomon tell, “Go tell Adonijah, ‘If you come one guy I can trus, I no goin do notting fo make even one hair from yoa head fall on top da groun cuz a me. But if I hear anyting bad bout you, you goin mahke.’-”
53Den King Solomon send one guy fo go get Adonijah down from da altar an bring um to da palace. Adonijah come, an he go down in front King Solomon fo show him respeck. Solomon tell um, “Go home.”