Who Da Numba One Guy?
(Mark 9:33-37; Luke 9:46-48)
181One nodda time da guys Jesus teaching come by him, an aks him, “From all da guys dat get God in da sky fo dea King, who da numba one guy?”
2Jesus tell one small kid fo come, an he put um in front dem. 3He say, “I tell you guys dis fo shua: If you guys no change an start fo tink jalike one litto kid, no way God in da sky goin be yoa King. 4Da guy dat no tink he gotta be numba one everytime, jalike dis small kid, dat guy goin come numba one, from dose dat get God in da sky fo dea King. 5Whoeva take in one small kid jalike dis one, cuz da kid stay tight wit me, same ting, dat guy take me in.”
No Good, Make Peopo Do Bad Kine Stuff
(Mark 9:42; Luke 17:1-2)
6Den Jesus say, “Dese small kids hea, dey trus me! If somebody try make um so dey no like trus me no moa, mo betta take one real big heavy stone from da mill, an tie um aroun da guy, den throw him inside da ocean fo drown!
7“Auwe! Da peopo hea inside da world, dey goin get it! Cuz get guys ova hea who try fo make odda guys do bad kine stuff! Fo shua, goin get peopo dat like make odda guys do bad kine stuff. But auwe! Da guy dat make one nodda guy do bad kine stuff, he goin get it!
8If yoa hand o yoa leg make you do bad kine stuff, cut um off an throw um away! Mo betta you live to da max foeva, no matta you no mo hand o leg. No good you get da hand an da leg, an dey throw you inside da fire dat stay burning foeva. 9If yoa eye make you do bad kine stuff, pull um out an throw um away! Mo betta you live foeva wit one eye. No good you get two eyes an dey throw you inside Hell wea get plenny fire.”
Da Sheep Dat Stay Lost
(Luke 15:3-7)
10Jesus say, “Watch out dat you guys no tink you mo betta den one a dese small kids hea. I tell you guys, dey get spesho angel guys inside da sky dat stay wea dey can talk to my Fadda up dea, any time dey like. 11-13How you guys figga wat one farma guy goin do? If he get hundred sheeps, an one sheep stay lost, he goin let da ninety nine odda sheeps stay ova dea by demself on top da hill, an go look fo da one sheep dat stay lost, yeah? An I tell you dis too: wen he find um, he feel mo good inside fo da one sheep he wen find, den fo da ninety nine sheeps dat neva get lost. [Me, I Da Guy Dass fo Real. I wen come fo take da guys dat stay lost outa da bad kine stuff dey doing.] 14Dass why my Fadda in da sky no like if even one a da small kids hea stay lost.”
If Yoa Brudda Do Bad Kine Stuff
(Luke 17:3; John 8:17; Rules 19:15)
15Jesus say, “If yoa brudda do bad ting to you, go tell him wat he wen do. But go by yoaself. If he lissen, den he goin come jalike yoa brudda again. 16But if he no like lissen, take one o two odda guys wit you an tell him one mo time, cuz jalike da Bible wen say from befo time, ‘Fo everyting, need two o three guys fo tell wat dey wen see an hear, so you know fo shua wat wen happen.’ 17If he no like lissen to dem, den go tell all da church guys. An if he no like lissen to dem, make to him jalike he from one a da peopos dat donno God, o jalike he one crooked guy dat take money fo tax.
Wen You Say ‘Can’ o ‘No Can’
(Matthew 16:19)
18“I tell you guys dis too: If you say ‘No can’ bout someting ova hea inside dis world, God in da sky goin say ‘No can’ too. An if you guys say ‘Dass okay’ bout someting ova hea inside dis world, God in da sky goin say ‘Dass okay’ too. 19I tell you guys one mo time, if two a you guys inside dis world pray togedda to God fo da same ting, my Fadda in da sky goin make um happen fo you guys. 20Cuz weaeva two o three guys come togedda cuz dey my guys, I stay right ova dea wit dem.”
Da Worka Guy Dat No Like Let Da Odda Guy Go
21Den Peter go by Jesus an say, “Eh, Boss, how much times my brudda can do bad tings to me, an I gotta let him go? Seven times, o wat?” 22Jesus tell him, “No, not ony seven times, but seventy times seven.”
23Den Jesus say, “Dass how you guys gotta make. Cuz everytime wen God in da sky stay King, dass jalike get one king dat check out wat money his worka guys owe him. 24He sit down, an dey bring one worka guy by him dat owe um uku paila money. 25But da worka guy no mo money fo pay him, so da king tell da odda worka guys, ‘Kay den. Go sell da guy fo make him one slave, an sell his wife an his kids too, an everyting he get. Dass how he goin pay wat he owe.’
26“But dat worka guy go down an beg um. He say, ‘Ah, Boss, try wait! Give me chance! I goin pay you back all da money!’ 27Da king get pity fo him, so he let um go, an tell him, ‘No need pay notting.’
28“Den dat same worka guy go outside, an spock one nodda worka guy who owe him ony litto bit money. He grab him by da neck, an tell him, ‘Eh! You owe me money! You betta pay me back!’ 29Da odda worka guy go down an beg um, ‘Try wait! Give me chance! I goin pay you back all da money.’
30“But da first worka guy no like wait, so he tell da guards fo put da odda guy inside da prison till he can pay wat he owe him.
31“Da odda worka guys see wat wen happen, an dey all bum out. Dey go tell da king everyting dat wen happen. 32Den da king tell da first worka guy fo come, an say, ‘You so unreal! You one bad worka guy! You wen beg me. I wen let you go, an tell you dat you no need pay me back notting. 33But how come you no pity da odda guy, jalike I wen pity you an give you chance?’ 34Da king stay real huhu. He give da guy to da guards inside da prison fo torture him, till he pay everyting he owe.”
35Den Jesus say fo finish, “My Fadda in da sky goin do lidat to all you guys, if you no let yoa brudda go fo real kine inside yoa heart, fo all da bad kine stuff yoa brudda wen do to you.”