Da Guy Dat Dump His Wife
(Matthew 19:1-12)
101Den Jesus wen go way from dat place an go Judea side, da odda side da Jordan River. One mo time plenny peopo wen go by him, an he teach um jalike he everytime do.
2Some Pharisee guys come fo trap him. Dey aks him, “Dass right, o wat, inside da Rules, fo one guy go dump his wife?”
3Jesus wen aks um, “Wat Rule Moses wen give yoa ancesta guys bout dat?”
4Dey say, “Moses wen tell, ‘Gotta give da wife one paper fo get one divorce, den can dump her.’-”
5Jesus tell um, “Cuz all you guys so hard head, dass why Moses wen let you guys dump yoa wife. 6But I telling you guys dis: Wen God wen make da world, he make one guy an one wahine. 7An God say, ‘Cuz I wen do dat, da guy no goin stay wit his fadda an mudda no moa, he goin stay wit his wife. 8An da guy an da wahine goin be togedda jalike one body.’ So jalike dey not two peopo no moa, dey jalike one. 9Wat God wen put togedda, da peopo betta not broke um up.
10Afta dey wen go inside da house one mo time, da guys he teaching wen aks um bout dat. 11He tell um, “Da guy who dump his wife an go marry one nodda wahine, da way God see um, da first one still stay his wife. Da guy ony fooling aroun da second wahine. 12An da wahine who dump her husban an go marry one nodda guy, da way God see um, da first one still stay her husban. Da wahine ony fooling aroun da second guy.”
Jesus Put His Hands On Top Da Small Kids An Pray Fo Dem
(Matthew 19:13-15; Luke 18:15-17)
13Da peopo wen bring dea small kids by Jesus, cuz dey like him fo put his hands on top dea heads an aks God fo do good tings fo dem. But den Jesus guys wen scold da peopo cuz dey wen bring da kids, an dey tink da kids goin bodda Jesus. 14Wen Jesus wen see wat his guys doing, he huhu. He say, “Let da kids come! No stop dem! Cuz da peopo who make God dea King, inside demself dey jalike dese kids. 15Dass right! An I like tell you dis too: Da guy who not jalike one small kid inside, God no goin be his King.” 16An he wen hug da kids, an put his hands on top da kids heads, an aks God fo do good tings fo dem.
Da Young Guy Dat Get Plenny Stuff
(Matthew 19:16-30; Luke 18:18-30)
17Wen Jesus was starting fo go, one guy wen run up by him, an go down on his knees in front him, an say:
‘Eh, Teacha, you good. Can aks you one question? Wat I gotta do fo live to da max foeva?”
18Jesus say: “How come you call me good? Ony get One dat stay good fo real kine, dass God. 19You know God's Rules: No go kill nobody, no go fool aroun behind da odda's back, no rip off nobody, no bulai any kine bout nobody, no cockaroach nobody, show respeck fo yoa fadda an mudda.
20He say: “Ho, Teacha! From small kid time I do all dat stuff.”
21Jesus wen look at um, an get aloha fo him. He say: “Ony one ting mo you neva do dat you gotta do. Go sell all da stuffs you get, an give da money to da poor peopo. An garans you goin get da real kine rich stuff up dea wea God stay. Den come wit me fo be my guy.”
22Da guy wen hear dat, an he wen come real sad, an he wen go way, cuz he get plenny rich stuffs dat he neva like sell.
23Jesus wen look aroun at his guys an say, “Az why hard fo one rich guy fo get God fo his King!”
24His guys wen hear wat Jesus say, an wen blow dea minds. Jesus say one mo time, “Eh you guys! Stay hard, you know, fo get God fo yoa King. 25Stay mo easy fo one camel go thru da puka in one needle, den fo one rich guy fo get God fo his King.”
26Dey all shock, an dey tell each odda, “If dass how stay, who can come outa da bad kine stuff he stay in, den?”
27Jesus look strait at dem an tell, “No mo nobody dat can do um, but ony God, he da One dat can do um all.”
28Den Peter wen tell, “Eh, Boss, look! We wen give up everyting we get fo go wit you.”
29Jesus say, “Az right! An I tell you guys dis: Whoeva give up dea home, dea bruddas, dea sistas, dea mudda an fadda, dea kids, an dea lands, so dey can stick wit me an da Good Stuff From God I stay telling you, 30bumbye dey goin get hundred times mo plenny even befo dey mahke. Dey goin get home, bruddas, sistas, mudda, kids, lands. An one nodda ting dey goin get -- peopo goin make um suffa. Bumbye, in da time to come, dey goin live to da max foeva. 31Goin get plenny peopo who like make demself come first, but bumbye dey goin come last. An get plenny peopo who like make demself come last, but bumbye dey goin come first.”
One Mo Time Jesus Tell He Goin Mahke
(Matthew 20:17-19; Luke 18:31-34)
32Jesus go in front his guys, an dey all going Jerusalem. Jesus guys was all shook up, an da odda peopo who wen go wit dem was all scared. One mo time he wen take da twelve guys by da side a da road, an tell um wat goin happen. 33He tell dem, “Eh, lissen, we going Jerusalem. I da Guy Dass Fo Real. One guy goin set me up so da main pries guys an da teacha guys dat teach God's Rules can take me. Den dey goin say I gotta mahke. Dey goin give me to da guys dat not Jews. 34Dey goin make fun a me, an spit on top me, an whip me, an kill me. But on day numba three, I goin come back alive.”
Wat James An John Aks Him
(Matthew 20:20-28)
35James an John, Zebedee's boys, dey come by Jesus. Dey say, “Teacha, us guys like you do someting fo us, yeah?”
36Jesus say, “Wat you like?”
37Dey say, “Wen you come King, goin be awesome, yeah? We like you let us sit by you, one by da left side an da odda by da right side.”
38Jesus say, “You guys donno wat you aksing fo. You tink you guys can suffa jalike I goin suffa? You tink you can handle da big trouble I goin get?”
39Dey say, “Shua, us guys can handle.”
He tell um, “Fo shua you guys goin suffa jalike me, an you goin handle all da trouble I goin get. 40But fo sit by my right side an by my left side bumbye wen I come King, dass not mines fo say. My Fadda, he da One who can say dat, an he awready stay make da spesho places ready fo da peopo dat suppose to sit ova dea.”
41Wen da odda ten guys hear dat, dey come all huhu wit James an John. 42Jesus say, “Eh, all you guys! Come ova hea! You know, da leadas fo da peopos dat donno God, dey get any kine power ova dea peopo. Dea main guys get da rights fo tell da peopo wat fo do. 43But you guys, no goin be lidat wit you. Wit you guys, whoeva like be da leada guy, he gotta be da helpa guy first. 44Wit you guys, whoeva like be da numba one guy, he gotta do wat you guys tell him. 45I da Guy Dass Fo Real. I neva come so peopo can take care me. I wen come fo take care dem. I wen come fo give up my life an mahke fo cut loose plenny peopo from da power dat da bad kine stuff get ova dem.”
Jesus Make Bartimeus So He Can See
(Matthew 20:29-34; Luke 18:35-43)
46Dey go Jericho. Wen dey going away from da town, get plenny peopo wit dem. Bartimeus, one blind guy, stay sitting by da road side begging. He Timeus boy. 47He hear dat Jesus from Nazaret passing by, an he wen start fo yell, “Eh, Jesus! You da guy dat suppose to show up from King David's ohana! Try pity me!”
48Had plenny peopo ova dea dat wen scold him an tell um fo shut his mout. But he wen yell even mo loud, “Eh Boss, you da guy from King David's ohana! Try pity me!”
49Jesus stop an say, “Call him!” So dey wen call da blind guy an tell um, “Eh, dass okay! Get up! He stay call you.”
50He wen jump up an throw down his coat, an go by Jesus.
51Jesus aks um, “Wat you like me do fo you?”
Da blind guy say, “Teacha! I like see!”
52Jesus tell um, “Go! You wen trus me, dass why you come good now.” Right den an dea he can see, an he go wit Jesus on da road.