Jesus Teach His Guys How Fo Pray
(Matthew 6:9-15; 7:7-11)
111One time Jesus stay pray in one place. Wen he pau pray, one guy he teaching tell um, “Boss, teach us guys fo pray, jalike John wen teach his guys.”
2Jesus say, “Dis how you pray:
We like all da peopo know fo shua how awesome you stay,
An dat you stay good an spesho.
We like you come King fo everybody now.
3Give us our food fo today an every day.
4Let us go, an hemo our shame
Fo all da bad kine stuff we do to you,
Jalike we let da odda guy go,
An we no stay huhu at him
Fo all da bad kine stuff he do to us.
No let us get chance fo do bad kine stuff.’-”
5An he tell his guys, “Tink! If you go one friend's house at midnite an tell um, ‘My friend, lend me three loaf bread, 6cuz my odda friend stay going on one trip, an he wen come my house, an I no mo notting fo give him fo eat.’ 7Den if yoa friend inside his house tell you, ‘No bodda me! Da door stay lock awready, an me an my kids stay in bed. I no can get up fo give you anyting.’ 8So, wat? I tell you, even if he yoa friend, he no goin get up an give you da bread. Still yet, cuz you no shame, an you stay aksing him, he goin get up an give you everyting you need. 9So I tell you: Aks, an you goin get. Look, you goin find. Knock, da door goin open fo you. 10All da peopo dat aks, goin get. Da guy dat look fo um, he goin find. An da guy dat knock da door, da door goin open fo him. 11If yoa boy aks you fo one fish, you give um one snake? Nah! 12If he aks you fo one egg, you give um one scorpion? Nah! 13Eh, you guys no good, but you know how fo give good kine stuff to yoa kids. Fo shua den, yoa Fadda inside da sky, he everytime good, an he goin give his Good an Spesho Spirit to you guys cuz you aks him fo um.”
Jesus An Beelzebul
(Matthew 12:22-30; Mark 3:20-27)
14Had one guy dat get one bad kine spirit, dat make da guy so he no can talk. Jesus wen make da bad spirit let go da guy. Wen da bad spirit let um go, da guy dat no can talk wen start fo talk. An all da peopo, wen blow dea minds. 15But some guys say, “Nah! Was Beelzebul, da Devil. He da main leada guy fo da bad kine spirits, you know. Beelzebul, he da one wen give Jesus da power fo make dat spirit let go da guy, az why!”
16Odda guys wen try fo trick Jesus. Dey aks um fo show dem someting awesome from God in da sky fo make proof who him. 17But Jesus wen know wat dey tinking, an he tell um, “Da country dat go agains each odda, bus up itself. Da town o da ohana dat go agains each odda, no can stay strong. 18If da Devil make his own guys let go da peopo, den he going agains himself. How he goin stay one strong king? I saying dis cuz you guys wen say dat I make da bad kine spirits let go da peopo, cuz dea leada guy Beelzebul give me power fo do um. 19You guys say, dat da leada guy fo da bad kine spirits, he da one dat give me power fo make um let go da peopo. Kay den. Who give yoa guys da power fo make da bad kine spirits let go da peopo, aah? Da Devil give um da power, o wat? Not da Devil, dass fo shua. Yoa own guys goin show dat wat you say stay wrong. 20But if I make da bad kine spirits let go da peopo, cuz I get power from God, dat show dat God stay King, an he stay hea now by you guys, an you guys neva know.
21If one big moke get all his knifes an clubs fo guard his house, den his stuffs stay safe. 22But if one mo bigga moke come, an bus him up, he goin take away da knifes an clubs. Da first moke wen trus da knifes an clubs, but da mo bigga moke goin rip off all da stuffs, an split um up wit his own guys.
23If you no stay wit me, den you stay agains me. Da guy dat no work wit me, he ony work agains me.”
Da Bad Spirit Come Back
(Matthew 12:43-45)
24“Wen one bad kine spirit let go one guy, dat spirit go all ova da boonies fo find one place fo rest, but no can find notting. Den he say, ‘Eh, mo betta I go back to da guy I wen take ova befo.’ 25Wen he go dea, da guy stay clean inside, jalike wen you sweep one house an fix um up. 26Den da spirit go get seven odda spirits mo worse den him, an dey all go take ova da guy, an stay dea. So in da end, da guy dat had da bad kine spirit come mo worse den befo.”
Stay Good Inside Fo Real Kine
27Wen Jesus say dat, one wahine from da peopo wen say, “Da wahine dat wen born you an nurse you, she da one dat stay good inside!” 28But Jesus tell, “Da peopo dat hear wat God say, an do um, dey da ones dat stay real good inside!”
Show Us Proof!
(Matthew 12:38-42; Mark 8:12)
29All da peopo wen stay jamming aroun Jesus, an he say, “Da peopo nowdays, dey do bad kine stuff. Dey everytime like see proof dat I fo real. An dey no goin see um. Dey ony goin see one proof jalike da guy Jonah wen make befo time. 30Jonah, he talk fo God long time ago. He wen make proof fo da peopo inside Nineveh town dat he come from God. O same jalike me, da Guy Dass Fo Real, I goin make proof fo da peopo nowdays, dat I come from God. 31Wen da peopo dat stay hea nowdays goin stand in front God da Judge, da Queen from far away Sheba side goin stand up too, an make proof dat da peopo dat stay hea nowdays, dey not so smart. Cuz befo time she wen come from far away fo hear wat da akamai guy, King Solomon, wen say. An look! Get one guy mo importan den Solomon stay hea now. Dass me! 32Wen da peopo dat stay hea nowdays goin stand in front God da Judge, da peopo inside Nineveh town goin stand up too, an make proof dat da peopo dat stay hea nowdays, dey stay doing bad kine stuff. Cuz wen Jonah wen teach da Nineveh peopo, dey wen come sorry fo all da bad kine stuff dey wen do, an pau do um. An now get one guy mo importan den Jonah stay hea now. Dass me!”
Da Light Fo Da Body
(Matthew 5:15; 6:22-23)
33“You no light one candle an hide um unda one bucket. You put um up on top one high place, yeah? Den everybody dat come inside da house can see da light. 34Da eye jalike one lamp fo inside yoa body. So if you get good heart fo help peopo, dass jalike yoa eye okay an you stay all light inside. But if you one greedy bugga, dass jalike yoa eye stay no good an you stay all dark inside! 35Make shua you get da light inside you, an you no stay dark inside. 36So, if you get good heart inside you, an you not greedy, dass jalike you get light inside you fo shua!”
Jesus Scold Da Pharisee Guys An Da Teachas Dat Teach God's Rules
(Matthew 23:1-36; Mark 12:38-40; Luke 20:45-47)
37Wen Jesus pau talk, one Pharisee guy wen aks him fo come inside his house fo eat. So he go inside, an sit down fo eat. 38But da Pharisee guy see dat Jesus no wash first befo he eat jalike dem, an he tink plenny bout dat. 39So da Boss Jesus tell him, “You know, you Pharisee guys, jalike you, you guys clean ony da outside a da cup an da plate. But inside yoa heart, you guys stay full a bad kine stuff, an you like stash everyting fo yoaself. 40You guys no tink! Da One dat wen make da outside, make da inside too! 41Give to da peopo dat no mo notting from da stuffs you get, an you know wat? Everyting goin come okay fo you guys, da way God see you.
42“Auwe you Pharisee guys! You goin get it! You guys give God ten percent a everyting, even da mint, an da rue spice, an all da odda kine herbs. But same time, no bodda you guys if you no do da right tings, an you guys no mo love an aloha fo God. Mo betta, make shua you do da right tings, an get love an aloha fo God, an no foget da ten percent too.
43“Auwe you Pharisee guys! You guys goin get it! You guys everytime like fo sit down in da spesho chairs inside da Jewish churches, an like all da peopo talk nice to you in da open market. 44Auwe! Cuz you guys mahke inside, jalike da graves dat da peopo no can see, an dey walk on top um cuz dey donno get one grave dea.”
45One teacha dat teach God's Rules wen tell um, “Teacha, wen you say dat, you talk bad to us too.”
46Jesus say, “Auwe you teacha guys dat teach God's Rules! You guys goin get it! Cuz you like make all kine rules! Jalike you stack up big heavy kine stuffs on top da peopo's shouldas, dat real hard fo carry. But you guys no like help da peopo fo do wat yoa rules say, even litto bit. 47Auwe you guys! Cuz you make nice tombs fo da guys dat wen talk fo God, but was yoa ancesta guys wen kill um. 48So you show you tink dass good, wat yoa ancesta guys wen do. Dey wen kill da guys dat wen talk fo God, an you guys make dea tombs! 49Dass why God wen know wat he talking bout wen he say, ‘I goin send um guys dat talk fo me, an guys I send all ova fo tell da Good Stuff, an dey goin kill some, an make oddas suffa.’ 50So da peopo dat stay hea nowdays, dey goin get da blame fo all da guys dat peopo eva wen kill cuz dey talk fo God, 51from da first one Abel to Zekariah. Dey wen kill Zekariah right inside da temple yard, wit God's spesho place one side, an da altar da odda side. Dass right! An I like tell you guys dis: Da guys dat stay hea nowdays, dey goin get all da blame.
52“Auwe, you teachas dat teach God's Rules! You guys goin get it! You guys donno wat God say, an you no let da peopo dat like know wat he say find out. Jalike you guys wen take away da key fo open da door so peopo can know wat God stay say.”
53Wen Jesus go way from dat place, da teachas dat teach God's Rules an da Pharisee guys wen start fo gang up on him, an try fo make him tell dem all kine stuff. 54Dey like trick him wit wat he tell dem so dey can bus him.