Da Story Bout Da Widow An Da Judge
181Jesus wen tell his guys one story fo show dem dat dey gotta pray everytime an no give up. 2He say, “Inside one town, had one judge dat no scared God an no mo respeck fo da peopo. 3Had one widow ova dea inside dat town dat stay come by da judge fo beg him, ‘Please, make tings right fo me! Cuz get one guy dat stay ripping me off.’ 4Long time da judge neva like do notting. Den in da end he tink, ‘No matta I no scared God an I no mo respeck fo da peopo, 5dis widow stay bodda me, so I goin make tings right fo her, so she no come no mo an wear me out!’-”
6Den da Boss Jesus wen tell his guys, “Tink bout wat da judge wen say, dat neva like do da right ting. 7You guys tink God no goin make tings right fo da ones he wen pick, wen dey stay beg him day an nite? You tink he goin take long time fo help dem? 8I telling you, he goin make tings right fo dem right away. But I da Guy Dass Fo Real, an wen I come back, you tink I goin find peopo dat trus God hea on top da earth, o wat?”
Da Story Bout Da Pharisee Guy An Da Tax Guy
9Jesus tell one story fo da guys dat stay shua dey good guys an all da odda guys bad. 10He say, “Two guys wen go to God's Temple fo pray, one Pharisee guy, an one guy dat collect money fo tax fo da govermen. 11Da Pharisee guy stand up an pray by himself lidis, ‘God, tank you dat I no stay like da odda guys, da guys dat steal, no do da right ting, fool aroun da odda guy's wife, an even like dis guy hea dat take money fo tax. 12Two times every week, I no eat so I can pray, an I give da temple ten percent from all da money I get.’ 13But da guy dat take money fo tax wen stand up far away. He no even like look up to da sky, but he beat on his chest an say, ‘God, I one guy dat wen do bad kine stuff. Give me chance!’-” 14Jesus say, “I telling you, wen dis tax guy go home, he get um right wit God awready. But not da Pharisee guy. Cuz whoeva make himself importan goin come not importan, an whoeva make himself not importan goin come importan.”
Jesus Pray Fo Da Small Kids
(Matthew 19:13-15; Mark 10:13-16)
15Da peopo wen bring dea small kids by Jesus, cuz dey like fo him put his hands on top dea heads an pray fo dem. Wen Jesus guys see dat, dey wen scold da peopo cuz dey wen do dat. 16But Jesus tell da kids fo come, an he say, “Let da small kids come by me, an no stop dem, cuz da peopo dat get God fo dea King, inside demself dey jalike dese kids. 17Dass right! An I like tell you guys dis too: Whoeva no take God fo be his King jalike one small kid, he no can get God fo his King.”
Da Rich Guy
(Matthew 19:16-30; Mark 10:17-31)
18One leada guy wen tell him, “Teacha, you good. Wat I gotta do fo get da real kine life dat stay to da max foeva?”
19Jesus tell him, “How come you say I good? Ony get One dat stay good, dass God. 20You know God's Rules: ‘No go fool aroun da odda guy's wife, no go kill nobody, no rip off nobody, no bulai any kine bout nobody, show respeck fo yoa fadda an mudda.’-”
21Da guy wen say, “Ho, Teacha! From small kid time I stay do all dat stuff.”
22Wen Jesus hear dat, he tell him, “Ony one mo ting you neva do dat you gotta do. Go sell all da stuffs you get, an go give da money to da peopo dat no mo notting. Den garans you goin get plenny good kine stuffs inside da sky. Den come wit me fo be my guy.” 23Da guy wen hear dat, an he come real sad, cuz he get plenny rich stuffs.
24Jesus look at him an say, “Az why hard fo one rich guy fo get God fo his King! 25Stay mo easy fo one camel go thru da puka in one needle, den fo one rich guy fo get God fo his King.”
26Da peopo dat wen hear him, dey say, “If dass how gotta be, who can get outa da bad kine stuff he stay in, den?”
27Jesus tell, “No mo nobody dat can do um, but ony God, he da One dat can do um all.”
28Den Peter tell, “Eh Boss, look! We wen leave everyting we get fo go wit you.”
29Jesus say, “Az right! An I tell you, Everybody dat leave his home o wife o bruddas o fadda an mudda o kids fo God da King, 30he goin get plenny mo now in dis time, an bumbye he goin get da real kine life dat stay to da max foeva.
Jesus Say One Mo Time He Goin Mahke
(Matthew 20:17-19; Mark 10:32-34)
31Jesus wen take his twelve guys by da side a da road, an tell um, “Eh, lissen, we going Jerusalem. I da Guy Dass Fo Real, an everyting da guys dat wen talk fo God befo time wen say bout me, goin happen. 32Dey goin turn me ova to da guys dat not Jews. Dey goin make fun a me, an talk any kine to me, an spit on me, an whip me hard, an kill me. 33But day numba three, I goin come back alive.”
34Jesus guys, dey neva know wat he say. Jalike someting stay hiding from dem.
Jesus Make One Blind Begga Guy Come Good
(Matthew 20:29-34; Mark 10:46-52)
35Jesus come to Jericho town, an one blind guy stay sitting an begging by da side a da road. 36Da blind guy hear all da peopo pass, an he aks um, “Wass happening?”
37Dey tell him, “Jesus from Nazaret stay pass.”
38Den he yell, “Jesus! You King David's boy! Pity me an give me chance!”
39Da peopo in front scold him an tell him fo shut up. But he yell mo loud, “David's boy! Pity me an give me chance!”
40So Jesus wen stop an tell da peopo fo bring da blind guy by him. Wen he wen come near, Jesus tell him, 41“Wat you like me do fo you?”
He say, “Boss, I like see.”
42Den Jesus tell him, “See den! You wen trus me, so now, you can see.”
43Right den an dea da guy wen see, an he wen go wit Jesus, talking bout how awesome God. Wen all da peopo see dat, dey wen tank God an talk good bout him.